Up late, reading a few blogs, mine seems so lame. There are really IMPORTANT and LIFE ALTERING things that people have to write about...love, loss, healing, anger. And then, there's me.
Why do I even do this? Hubby and mom would like to know. Friends baffled, what is the attraction? Mostly sleepless nights and something to do...but then, I have to say there must be some sort of NEED here. I NEED total strangers to see me? To acknowledge me? What? Something must be wrong with me. I tell myself, "but I have so many family out of state, they might like to pop in on me." Myspace was a total nightmare for me...drama and haters and women raging for no apparent reason, WAY worse than HS ever was! Blogging has an element of CONTROL, and I like CONTROL, don't I?
Fake. Phony. Needy. SEE ME....VISIT ME...COMMENT ON MY WISDOM.
I have always liked to write....journal or poetry (nothing fancy) in the wee small hours when I cannot sleep. This just seemed like the next logical step.
But then I still feel like that kid in junior high that wants to impress people I don't even know. WTH is that? I am a strong, confident woman, aren't I? Hmmmmm....self-doubt, insecurities, what am I doing here? They are all going to know I don't belong.
I need happy pills. No, I need to continue to live offline more and enjoy my family and know that it is enough for me. But I am connected to certain people, or at least I feel like I am. Is that real?
Aw, suck it up Susan!
10 years ago
10 comments:
It's real!!! We all need to connect....and know that people get us. There is nothing wrong with you...I see you :) I get it too :)
SUSAN!!!!!
Yes...this is your best one! The most introspective, intelligent and honest AND REALISTIC
...get off the damn computer and live in the real world!
Come to bloggerville only occasionally... and only when you choose to...
not because you have nothing else...
you do have choices...
make them good ones!!!
you write b/c you want us to know whow you are:)
One day you will have you life altering post and we'll be here reading it just like we read your normal ones.
The connection on here is real.DOn't doubt it. :)
Thanks Susan for commenting on my blog. I have two blogs. I am blog crazy. I need blog intervention. And yes, I would live in London (well, not London, too polluted but England) in a heartbeat. As long as I could take my babies with me. (my two doggies and kitty) Oh yeah, I do have a husband. Small problem. I just watched KellyW's video and now my eyes are red from bawling. That girl has a gift. I just met two people in England who I have been blogging with for three or four years. And yes, they are real, and friends just like my every day friends are. And you are very special Susan. And so much fun. Fun people, people who know how to have fun are very hard to find. ♥
Susan!!! this is a great post! YES, we all want to connect, to feel connected. Glad you're here, at least sometimes! I enjoy you a lot!!!
Thanks to all you sweet ladies...I'll keep blogging when I can. I enjoy all of you too.
I just found your blog for the very first time TODAY!! I love it! It's real !! It's you , exactly who you should be!!
kisses
Meli
yes! keep on blogging!!
but i know what you mean.... i think we all should live offline way more than we do..for sure!
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