Yikes! I didn't realize the month is almost over (already) and I haven't posted my monthly Rambler (random). So here goes....
I'm stuck already. Usually my mind is so filled with useless information.
Did you hear about that woman who gave birth to 8 kids? Holy Uterus....
Speaking of a ton of kids, the Duggar family (18 kids and counting)....surely she must just sneeze them out by now, don't ya think? She must have to wear Depends, cuz honestly, she probably craps her drawers if she stumbles on the sidewalk. Just sayin.
I now consider 40 and 50 degree weather cold. That is just wrong.
My hands are chapped and look like they belong to an 80 year old woman. I guess that's better than an 80 year old man.
If I was rich I would still shop at Target. There's no way I'd pay $1000 for a frickin pair of designer jeans. Oh yeah, and I would DEFINITELY get a housecleaner so I'd never have to clean my own house again.
Why does my butt always go numb when I'm typing on my laptop too long? Surely I have enough padding back there....
I need to get paperwork going to re-register for college so I can start taking my pre-req classes toward my teaching credential. I'm having trouble motivating to start that process.
I lost 5 lbs last week and have no idea how I did it. Happy, but frustrating not knowing. Don't expect the same results this week.
Do you think if I held the vacuum hose to my chin/neck it would tighten the skin, or just make it looser?
I hate to wear turtlenecks cuz my neck is really sensitive to materials and ends up itching and breaking out. So looks like scarves will be my camouflage of choice.
I told my kids if they didn't behave I'd take my PedEgg foot shavings and sprinkle them on their cereal and call it Footie Flakes. It was a joke....I would never do that, but they thought it was funny.
My daughter told me she was getting Pissed Off at me today. That ended the outside play time. (see point directly above)
Is Cheetos a dairy product cuz of the cheese? I sure wish...
My son is in the process of mastering burping on command and my daughter has been so "windy" lately I'm gonna start calling her Tootie.
We won't even TALK about the dog's gas. I mean, eye-watering, wake you up from a dead sleep and cry gas.
My swearing is down to the bare minimum.....but I'm holding on to Holy Crap!
Okay, so today was the day I finally had my treadmill stress test. The test I had to reschedule like 3 times already due to work getting in the way. The test that I was taking because of my panic attack a few months back.
So anyway, I am dreading this because, for anyone who knows me, I am NOT a runner. I do not mean that euphemistically. I mean, literally, I have not HAD to run in YEARS. If my life depended on it, I might be able to muster a few half hearted strides, but more than likely I'd just tell the person chasing me that I'd save both of us the time and trouble. So the idea of getting on a treadmill for the specific purpose of increasing my heart rate to the targeted 90% of it's maximum allowable did not turn me on in any sense of the word.
But...I was secretly hoping I would at least make it to the running portion.
So, after waiting for nearly an hour in the reception area (getting my stress level elevated all the more), I was making friendly conversation with a middle aged lady who had brought her elderly mother in to the doctor. When they called my name, the nice lady told me to just relax.
Oh yeah, I left out another detail. In preparation for this grand event, I decided to wear not only my regular, every day bra, but over that I put on my "sport bra" that has never seen the light of day outside my closet and then put my cute little Nike running shirt over that. I figured I wished neither to bounce or poke through my shirt, if you get my drift. When I got to the initial exam room where they put all the little heart contacts all over your upper body, they said I could not wear the sports bra since it puts pressure on the contacts and causes false readouts. Now what would I have done if I hadn't had my backup bra? I shudder to think. Hubby says I would have come home with black eyes...but he never suspected how the test would go.
Okay, back to the story. So they call me back and the nurse is explaining (after taking my blood pressure and hooking all the wires up to the contacts stuck all over me) that the object of the test is to monitor my heart rate until it reaches the aforementioned 90% level, and at that point they will stop the treadmill regardless of how long I have been on it. She says it will start slowly, with increased incline and speed after 3 minute intervals. She will give me a 20 second warning prior to the increases so I will be ready. Yeah, right.
We wait for the good doctor to join us. He comes in and sits down at the machine and I swear he is catching up on his medical journal reading since he barely looked at anything. The nurse tells me to start and off we go at a nice leisurely pace that is very manageable. My heart rate is at the 40% mark at the beginning of the test and I can see the monitor from the treadmill.
Walking, walking, incline, incline. Hey, this isn't so bad. I'm sure I can muster up the breath and stamina for at least 10 minutes on this puppy, right?
"Okay, it will get faster in 20 seconds" says the nurse. I'm like, no problem lady. She steps forward to hit the computer buttons and take my blood pressure. "How are you doing?" she asks. Oh fine, no problem.
Walking, a little bit briskly, calves are starting to burn, 35% incline, and I'm feeling it. My breathing is coming a little harder and I notice my arms have this funny reddish hue. Oh well, must be the fluorescent lighting. Keep moving. Heart is at...holy crap! I'm already near the 70% level! Okay, focus, breathe, keep moving.
The nice nurse announces the next increase is imminent as she once again steps forward to cuff me. I'm thinking, ok, you can do this, just hang in there.
Machine amps up to a fast paced walk. I guess technically I could have jogged it but I'm playing tough guy/gal. Uh oh, my breathing really sounds labored and that funny skin color is getting a little darker. Darn lighting! I glance at the monitor and I'm at 85%. Doc glances up from his reading material to announce they're going to shut it down in 15 seconds. I hit 90% in no time after that and they shut me down.
I'm humiliated....I never even got to trot.
The absent minded doc announces that I have a healthy heart. He's probably thinking how could this 44 year old otherwise perfectly healthy looking woman not even last to a jog? But he doesn't say that as he excuses himself from the room.
I ask the nice nurse if most patients get to the running portion. She politely smiles and nods, sensing my embarassment. Great! I lasted an entire 6 minutes and 38 seconds!
As I'm leaving, I notice the nice older lady I was talking to has rejoined her mother, who has finished with her exam. She glances up in surprise, probably shocked that I'm done already. I smile and tell her I didn't set any endurance records, the docs probably wanted to go home for the day anyway.
In the car, I call my mom to let her know how horrible I did. I ask her to check with my dad, who had this test done when he was 70 years old, to see how long he made it. Over her snorting laughter, she asks him and his answer just sets her off in another fit of giggles. She finally gasps "17 or 18 minutes, at a full run!".
My humiliation is complete. Oh well, at least I didn't fall off the darn thing.
***** P.S. Play the above video...it's only 52 seconds and totally worth it. Do eet!!!
I received the best birthday present today ever. I watched our new President, Barack Obama, sworn into office with great pride and alot of emotion. When I saw him silhouetted in the doorway, waiting pensively to proceed out the door and down the stairs to the podium, I was filled with joy and elation. This is it....the start of something new. Hope lives again....hokey as it sounds, I really think so many of us feel that. For those who insist Presidents always break their word....need I remind you that we have a very DIFFERENT president this time? He brings the experience of growing up "black" in America...and that lends a whole different set of sensibilities to the job. He can appreciate, truly, what it is like to be the underdog. It is not merely rhetoric. He knows it, has lived it, understands it and does not forget it. He has the unique experience of being of both black and white heritage, has seen the world through both prisms of color...denying neither while embracing both. Why does this matter? It matters because for so long, our country has made judgments based on skin tone....people have been qualified or exempted on this basis alone. And today, as we all embrace this man and his heritage, we must now, finally and forever more, look past the skin barrier that so many have used to exclude. He is the best of all of us...that is why he gives us hope. If he can do it, nothing is impossible.
I did not grow up in the era of segregation....I was a child of the 70's when the hippies roamed freely and protested war. Civil rights was still fresh and new and the Black Panthers were not a group I either knew or understood. I was more familiar with the Hells Angels and hippies who hung out on the street my brother and I walked to go to school. I was not aware of being white probably because if you live as a "majority" it is never an issue for you. I never became too aware of my color until I moved to California where there are so many other ethnic groups that are prevailant. But my parents chose to stay in a city where integration was the norm when so many other families were taking part in the "white flight" syndrome and heading out to newly developed suburbs where blacks were not yet settled. My parents believed in making sure their kids knew the world was not made of white. They welcomed all ethnicities and people of any sexual orientation into our home. My younger brother, who suffers from a host of maladies and had been shunned largely by the white kids, always chose instead to surround himself with black friends. They were just naturally more accepting...I always said it was because they understand what it is like to be locked out. They weren't cruel or judgemental, and have always been more loving and accepting. We were not forbidden to date other ethnicities, and all were welcome in our home. I did not fully appreciate that until I grew old enough to know what it meant and what it sometimes cost my parents to be that accepting. There were plenty of people who snubbed my parents because of it. People who left our house before nightfall because they were afraid of being in our neighborhood after dark.
My husband is neither black nor white. He is Hawaiian and Japanese....and our kids are like the United Nations with all our heritages combined. My stepson is Japanese. My children play with all ethnicities and we have chosen to live in an integrated neighborhood as well. Some would even say whites are in the minority here. But I see with each new generation the color blindness that seems to come with it...and that makes me happy. Because I know, and I feel, that we are finally getting there as a nation...where there will no longer even be separate ethnicities because everyone will continue to combine and love each other for what's on the inside, not on the outside.
And so, I am hopeful for our President, our people and our country. Happy birthday indeed!
School winter break ended today and my dear firstborn is back at school. Poor thing was a wreck last night and this morning. He couldn't fall asleep last night, after so many late nights while out of school. The kids have become accustomed to cuddling in the Mama Bear bed while Papa Bear is at work. So now they find it hard sometimes to fall asleep without me next to them. He was just so tired all he could do was cry. So after a little "sleepy milk" for sweet dreams, hair stroking to soothe his whimpers and laying down next to him until he drifted off he finally conked out at nearly 11:00 last night.
I knew this morning was gonna be ugly. So I sent Papa up to wake him...he usually responds better to him in the morning. But he sluggishly got up, stumbled to his dresser to get his clothes, all the while moaning about going to school and on the verge of another crying jag. He mechanically got dressed, was marched into the bathroom for hair and teeth duty and cried the whole time he was brushing. It was the saddest thing. So I cuddled with him for a few minutes, then we headed downstairs for breakfast. Hate to say it, but turned the TV on to distract him and that seemed to do the trick. Cartoons soothe the savage student.
By the time it was time to leave, he was a whole new kid. When he got out of the car, he cheerily said goodbye, slung his backpack over his shoulder (he wears one strap diagonally over his chest rather than the 2 strap method), and walked away peering ahead for his school buds.
Check out her blog...it's linked on my page under Blog Buddies. Janette Barber is one of Rosie's comedy writers and a VERY funny lady. The kids and I made this for her today...
If you haven't already heard, we had a moderate earthquake here last night, about 15 miles from where I live. It was either a 4.5 or a 5.0, but definitely could be felt. The kiddies were a little freaked. They were in the boys' room on upper bunk, where the shaking was probably a little more intense. Poor K starting crying since she didn't know what was happening. Then I reminded her about the "earth quicks" (that's what she calls them). She calmed down and started talking about the house wiggling and how brave she would be for the next time. They were all wound up for a good 45 minutes after that, running around showing how brave they both are. It was cute.
Speaking of brave, my poor baby had her first (and hopefully last) CAVITY today! Can you believe it..only 4 years old and they are already drilling. Yikes! She was such a good girl and it was kinda funny watching her get used to them "putting her tooth to sleep". I could tell when the novacaine (sp?) started to work cuz she got that rubber lip look. When we got home I took a picture...I wanted to capture her crooked little smile, but she kinda just gave me a numb stare.
And then of course, Thing 1 wanted his picture taken, so I had him pose with his "dental goodies". The floss, by the way, has already been ripped from the dispenser and fashioned into a repelling line for one of his action figures. Oh well, whatcha gonna do?
The kids and I spent most of the day out and about getting exercise, shopping, visiting my MIL. The weather was glorious and it felt good to be out in the fresh air. Invigorating, rejuvenating. Bought a bunch of healthy veggies and fruits and attempted to make a healthy dinner, which of course my kids ate little of.
Now I'm watching the stomach churning Nancy Grace and her coverage of the Caylee Anthony case. Every day there is some dramatic new turn in the case. Later I'm gonna watch the Patrick Swayze interview...he's always been one of my favorites. That should be nice and depressing.
I will add pics of our wild party later...right now I'm on the laptop and my camera card does not fit on here. The kids and I really burned the midnight oil. They were asleep by 10:30 and when I woke them a little before midnight they were both big crabby patties. I did manage to burn one of our leftover, not so legal, fireworks in the back yard. Neighbors across the street had some that actually could be seen from the street, so that was kinda cool. Hubby had to work, so he probably got more sleep than I did that night.
My wish for all of you this year is continued good health, financial stability, friendships that last forever and great times with your loved ones. As Penny always says, go make a memory today. *********************
Okay, here's a collage I made of the kids from our "New Year's Eve party"...
