January Rambler

Yikes! I didn't realize the month is almost over (already) and I haven't posted my monthly Rambler (random). So here goes....

• I'm stuck already. Usually my mind is so filled with useless information.
• Did you hear about that woman who gave birth to 8 kids? Holy Uterus....
• Speaking of a ton of kids, the Duggar family (18 kids and counting)....surely she must just sneeze them out by now, don't ya think? She must have to wear Depends, cuz honestly, she probably craps her drawers if she stumbles on the sidewalk. Just sayin.
• I now consider 40 and 50 degree weather cold. That is just wrong.
• My hands are chapped and look like they belong to an 80 year old woman. I guess that's better than an 80 year old man.
• If I was rich I would still shop at Target. There's no way I'd pay $1000 for a frickin pair of designer jeans. Oh yeah, and I would DEFINITELY get a housecleaner so I'd never have to clean my own house again.
• Why does my butt always go numb when I'm typing on my laptop too long? Surely I have enough padding back there....
• I need to get paperwork going to re-register for college so I can start taking my pre-req classes toward my teaching credential. I'm having trouble motivating to start that process.
• I lost 5 lbs last week and have no idea how I did it. Happy, but frustrating not knowing. Don't expect the same results this week.
• Do you think if I held the vacuum hose to my chin/neck it would tighten the skin, or just make it looser?
• I hate to wear turtlenecks cuz my neck is really sensitive to materials and ends up itching and breaking out. So looks like scarves will be my camouflage of choice.
• I told my kids if they didn't behave I'd take my PedEgg foot shavings and sprinkle them on their cereal and call it Footie Flakes. It was a joke....I would never do that, but they thought it was funny.
• My daughter told me she was getting Pissed Off at me today. That ended the outside play time. (see point directly above)
• Is Cheetos a dairy product cuz of the cheese? I sure wish...
• My son is in the process of mastering burping on command and my daughter has been so "windy" lately I'm gonna start calling her Tootie.
• We won't even TALK about the dog's gas. I mean, eye-watering, wake you up from a dead sleep and cry gas.
• My swearing is down to the bare minimum.....but I'm holding on to Holy Crap!

Okay, until next month's Rambler....