Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jigg

So the kids and I have been back home in SoCal for 4.5 days now and they quickly went right back into their old routines (can you say X-box?). The weather as soon as we arrived (I'll tell you about the harrowing flight details in a minute) was a balmy 68 degrees - at 8:00 p.m.!

About the flight....let me just say, while I was waiting at the Cleveland airport for our flight to board, I watched our Pilot get out to do the visual plane inspection. I was thrilled to see he was an older gentleman, since I think veteran pilots obviously are more seasoned for handling emergencies. So that put me at ease. However, I also knew the weather coming in from the west, probably around Illinois, was extremely windy. I watched The View last week, which had a feature where Whoopi "flies" on a simulator to overcome her intense fear of flying. When they asked about turbulence, the pilot said that turbulence ALONE would never bring down a plane. I kept that piece of information in my head and repeated it when things got rough...as you will soon see.

The takeoff was relatively smooth, there was the usual customary bumping, creaking, and vibrating that makes me think the roof is going to be ripped right off and we're all going to either get sucked out or have gigantic metal pieces embedded in our skin (remember when that happened on that Hawaiian flight?). I am a nervous flyer when it comes to take-offs and landings, having experienced some that were none too pleasant. I always watch for the drink cart to come out, which tells me that we have leveled off and the flight crew feels comfortable enough to move about the cabin. If I didn't have the kids with me, I probably would have had a glass of wine (or 2).

Anyway, about an hour or two into the flight I notice we seem to be descending somewhat. Then, we hit the WORST turbulence I have ever felt in my years of flying! I expect the normal up and down movement where you feel your stomach going up into your throat and then plummeting back to its intended position, only to be repeated several times. However, this time, there was actual SIDE TO SIDE LURCHING, whereby the 2 drinks I was trying to hold onto went sloshing out of the cup and onto my poor son's lap, drenching him in an unflattering area (crotch). The kids were trying to decide whether or not we were all going to die and kept looking to me for some reassurance. All I really wanted to do was start screaming. I tried to smile and say, "oooh, just like a roller coaster, huh?", not sure if they could detect the sheer terror in my eyes. I now know what the saying "her blood ran cold" means...my hands and feet literally were ice cold since all the blood had deserted my limbs and was clustering around my heart to keep it from dying on the spot.

The pilot got on the intercom (I'm always amazed by how calm they sound even when shit is bouncing around the cabin) and announces that "this will all be over in a minute folks. please make sure your seat belt is secure and do NOT get up". Yeah, no kidding! Anyone not already buckled in would have either been on the ceiling or sprawled in the aisle crawling around and whimpering. After what seemed like an hour, but was more likely 3-5 minutes, we finally leveled out and found smooth air. My hands were shaking and I was having a hard time composing myself. The flight attendant actually started walking up the aisle to check and make sure everyone was okay. I'm amazed no one threw up.

The rest of the flight was uneventful, but when we started our descent for landing, as soon as there was the least amount of turbulence I found my hands gripping the seat and my blood deserting my limbs again. I have never been so thankful to be on solid ground.

It's good to be home, but we all miss the grandparents. Thanks again Mom, Dad and Tim for an awesome visit. And for my cousins and all my friends, can't wait to see you again!!!